FINALLY, a way to know what to pitch and what to save!
FOOD SPOILAGE TABLE


THE GAG TEST
Anything that makes you gag is spoiled (except for leftovers from what you cooked for yourself last night).

EGGS
When something starts pecking its way out of the shell, the egg is probably past its prime.

DAIRY PRODUCTS
Milk is spoiled when it starts to look like yogurt. Yogurt is spoiled when it starts to look like cottage cheese. Cottage cheese is spoiled when it starts to look like regular cheese. Regular cheese is nothing but spoiled milk anyway and can't get any more spoiled than it is already. Cheddar cheese is spoiled when you think it is blue cheese but you realize you've never purchased that variety. Unless you count the various molds which may take years to consume a block of cheese, but do give the fridge the look of an interesting lab experiment and several exciting shades of blue and green.

MAYONNAISE
If it makes you violently ill after you eat it, the mayonnaise is spoiled.



MEAT
If opening the refrigerator door causes stray animals from a three-block radius to congregate outside your house, the meat is spoiled.

LETTUCE
Bibb lettuce is spoiled when you can't get it off the bottom of the vegetable crisper without Comet. Black is not a normal lettuce color and may be a clue to edibility. Romaine lettuce is spoiled when it turns liquid.

CANNED GOODS
Any canned goods that have become the size or shape of a baseball should be disposed of. Carefully. Leakage is another sign of lowered quality.

POTATOES
Fresh potatoes do not have roots, branches, or dense, leafy undergrowth.

EXPIRATION DATES
This is NOT a marketing ploy to encourage you to throw away perfectly good food so that you'll spend more on groceries. Perhaps you'd benefit by having a calendar in your kitchen.

GENERAL RULE OF THUMB
Most food cannot be kept longer than the average life span of a hamster. Keep a hamster in your refrigerator to gauge this.

And most important rule of all if in doubt throw it out!!!