It's almost Another New Year...

...but for what reason?
"Happy New Year!" That greeting will be said and heard for at least the first couple of weeks as a new year gets under way. But the day celebrated as New Year's Day in modern America was not always January 1.
ANCIENT NEW YEARS
The celebration of the new year is the oldest of all holidays. It was first observed in ancient Babylon about 4000 years ago. In the years around 2000 BC, the Babylonian New Year began with the first New Moon (actually the first visible cresent) after the Vernal Equinox (first day of spring).

The beginning of spring is a logical time to start a new year. After all, it is the season of rebirth, of planting new crops, and of blossoming. January 1, on the other hand, has no astronomical or agricultural significance. It is purely arbitrary.

The Babylonian new year celebration lasted for eleven days. Each day had its own particular mode of celebration, but it is safe to say that modern New Year's Eve festivities pale in comparison.

Interesting...? Thank gooodness our celebration is in one night. Imagine the hangoovers we would have?

"New" Year's Resolutions
I resolve to let my jokes stand on their own.


I resolve to see at least one movie a week, even if the only new movie out is "Gigli " or something. Okay maybe not that one.

I resolve to stop being such a jerk. What good does it do me to be a jerk? No good, that's what. Even if I don't like someone, why be a jerk to them? Right now, the answer is "because it's a habit". Being curt is easier for me, but I should stop. Plus, I've noticed that when I smile at people, they smile back. Winking doesn't help, though.

I resolve to either drink less Coke or quit obsessing about how much Coke I drink. Sometimes I quit for a couple of weeks nad then relapse, so all I get is fourteen days of a headache. On the other hand, I occasionally get headaches anyway, since, like I say, I drink so much Coke.

I resolve to floss. I mean everyday

I resolve to convince other people to read good books and watch good movies; and I resolve to read good books( too many trashy romance novels) and watch good movies that other people tell me to watch. You know how you see an obscure movie and then spend the rest of the movie's short run trying in vain to get all your friends to see it and they don't? And then a month later, one of your friends won't shut up about some great movie they've seen?

I resolve to juggle five balls by the end of the year.


I resolve to dramatically improve this web page, in both look and infrastructure( previous word was a Greg K-C..you know when i can't think of th right one).. And how hard can that be? My Dad's really gret at this stuff.


I resolve to stop ending sentences with "but still". It was funny for awhile, but I have to rotate it out in favor of new lines.

Speaking of which, I resolve not to use any punchlines that come from television commercials. I don't care whether it's funny in the commercial ("Great Googly-Moogly!") or if I'd just be doing it to get a cheap pop-culture reference laugh ("Whassup?!" or "What are YOU doing?"), I believe I can do better. I don't mind other people doing it (unless they have a late-night talk show), but I resolve to abstain. I'll still laugh if it's funny, though.


Finally, I resolve to get a sock monkey. I can't explain exactly why, but I just feel that my life would be better with a sock monkey around.


I think that's just about it unless i think of something else i will let you all know!!

It"s beeen a while since I've made fun of Her, sometimes I can't help mysef!!!
Dear Santa:

I rarely ask for much. This year is no exception. I don't need diamond earrings, handy slicer-dicers or comfy slippers ( oK I would love the slippers). I only want one little thing, and I want it deeply.
I want to slap Martha Stewart.

Now, hear me out, Santa. I won't scar her or draw blood or anything. Just one good smack, right across her little cheek. I get all cozy inside just thinking about it. Don't grant this wish just for me, do it for thousands of women across the country. Through sheer satisfaction, you'll be giving a gift to us all. Those of us leading average, garden variety lives aren't concerned with fancy living.

We feel pretty good about ourselves if our paper plates match when we stack them on the counter, buffet-style for dinner. We're tired of Martha showing us how to make centerpieces from whose Knows what dipped in 18-carat gold. We're plumb out of liquid gold. Unless it's of the furniture polish variety. We can whip up Martha's creamy holiday sauce, spiced with turmeric. But we really don't want to.

I have discovered that not only does Martha avoid take-out pizza (she's only ordered it once), she refuses to eat it cold (No cold pizza? Is Martha Stewart living?) When it was pointed out that she could microwave it, she replied, "I don't have a microwave."

Well, lah-dee-dah. Imagine that, Santa!

You would be amazed at what top notch resturants do with microwaves, okay we don't like to admit it. But I can't live without one. How do you think a well done steak is cooked in 15 minuates?

I have also learned learned that Martha has 40 sets of dishes adorning an entire wall in her home. Forty sets. Can you spell "overkill"? And neatly put away, no less. If my dishes make it to the dishwasher that qualifies as "put away" in my house!

The proof of Martha's influence: after she bought white-fleshed peaches in the supermarket, Martha says, "People saw me buy them. In an instant, they were all gone." I hope Martha never decides to jump off a bridge.

A guest in Martha's home told the public how Martha gets up early to rollerblade with her dogs to pick fresh wild blackberries for breakfast.

This confirms what I've suspected about Martha all along: She's obviously got too much time on her hands. Teaching the dogs to rollerblade. What a show off.

There you have it, Santa. If there was ever someone who deserved a good smack, it's Martha Stewart. But I bet I won't get my gift this year.

You probably want to smack her yourself.

On a side note i feel much better now
Feel free to comment!!!

On a more serious note
WAYS TO TRIM
YOUR HOLIDAY WASTELINE

Are you a waste-wise warrior or merely a waste-wise wannabe? Americans throw away 25% more trash during the Thanksgiving to New Year's holiday period than any other time of year. The extra waste amounts to 25 million tons of garbage, or about 1 million extra tons per week.


THE YULETIDE PARTY GUIDE

‘Tis the season of parties and festivities, food and fun. From Thanksgiving through New Year’s we like nothing more than to eat, drink and be merry, so we need successful strategies to cut down on the waste we create from our amplified entertaining.

[ 1 ] Turn down the heat before the guests arrive. You’ll save energy while the extra body heat of your guests will warm up the room.
[ 2 ] For formal affairs, consider renting seldom worn party clothes or buying them from consignment shops.
[ 3 ] You can also rent dishes and glassware, making your party more elegant and eliminating the need to buy special holiday china.
[ 4 ] Walk to neighborhood parties, or carpool (with a designated driver!) with friends if it’s too far to walk.
[ 5 ] After the party, don’t throw away the leftovers! Put them in plastic containers or bags and send them home with guests, or donate to food banks.
[ 6 ] Plan meals wisely and practice portion control to minimize waste in the first place:

FOOD/DRINK PORTION PER PERSON
Eggnog 1/2 cup
Turkey 12-14 pounds (up to 10 people)
Stuffing 1/4 pound
Sweet Potato Casserole 1/4 pound
Green Beans 1/4 pound
Cranberry relish 3 tablespoons
Pumpkin Pie 1/8 of a 9" pie


Did you know...at least 28 billion pounds of edible food are wasted each year – or over 100 pounds per person. Putting one less cookie on Santa’s plate will reduce his snacking by about 2 million pounds.

LIGHTS CAMERA ACTION

[ 7 ] Get outdoor light strands that are wired in parallel. These have separate circuitry so that if one bulb blows out the rest will keep shining; all you have to do is replace the bulb. Those strands sold with series wiring stand or fall together, making it almost impossible to find and replace a single blown-out bulb.
[ 8 ] Bring your own camera instead of using disposable cameras to capture holiday memories.
[ 9 ] Faster film speeds, such as 400 or 800, reduce the use of flash and extend battery life.

Did you know...by purchasing rolls of 36 instead of 12 exposures, you’ll reduce waste by 67%, saving about $4, or 40% in cost?

Just a few ideas to save you time and money!!! As the holidays approch don't loose sight of the real meaning of the holidays. And remember you cn't find it in the mall.

Your friends,
The K-C's

Tuesday's Tip

Yet another tuesday has come and it is time for the tip of the week.

There are some things in life that are completely avoidable as long as a proper diet is eaten. Well not especially proper just healthy choices and moderation. By following the food guide pyramid and the food guidelines you can ensure that you can lessen the chances of developing a condition. Even some birth defects can be prevented by eating a healthy complete diet.

So your mother was right, eat your vegetables and all of the other foods in the pyramid.

Lettuce eat!

Here's a little laugh for you all....

You might be a bad cook if...

1)you call your mother to ask how long to boil cabbage to make cole slaw.
2)you look in a cookbook to find out how to boil water.
3)the smoke alarm beeps if you even walk near the stove.
4)your family buys Pepto and Tums in bulk.
5)you open your dishwasher after living in your house for two years and the plastic is still in it.
6)the last time you tried to make toast the kitchen caught on fire.
7)your apple pie bubbled over and ate the enamel off the bottom of the oven.
8)you make tuna noodle broccoli surprise for your roommate and the surprise is that it glows in the dark!
9)you can use your overcooked cooked as a weapon
10) dog goes to the neighbors' to eat.
11)you cook the leftover cut-outs of a jack-o-lantern.
12) leftover crumbs make a great replacement for kitty litter
13) three boxes of scouring pads, a bottle of Drano and a crowbar, but that macaroni and cheese still won't let go of the pan! you've ever burned through the bottom of a pan while cooking.
14) forget and leave a gallon of your homemade ice cream on the porch overnight during a record busting heat wave and the next afternoon, not only is it still solid, but it tastes better.
15) refer to flour weveils as a little extra protein


This is a little list I put together for fun..work has been insane this past week and a half. My creative brain waves are starting to buzzzzz... So you can expect more craziness to come..I know you have probably missed it because i know i have. And to all our loyal readers please stay tuned......hahahahaha!!!!

A Christmas Tradition

Well for the 27th (or 28th depending on the point of view) we watched the Charlie Brown Christmas, being that we will be busy when it is broadcast we watched it on tape.

Now there are other traditions that we have like staying up and going to Midnight Mass or working on Christmas (Food industry) and evenwaking up at the butt crack of dawn to open presents if we can wait that long. What we really want is to hear about your traditions. Either send us e-mails or post on comments the traditions that you have for Christmas, Channukah, Kwanza, New Years or (insert holiday) and let us know. We think it will be fun to see what everyone else does.

posted by Greg K-C

Tuesday's Tip

Well just one more semester until graduation and I can't wait. So in honor of this joyous occasion we will have a fun tip for you today. There is a diet that can cure just about any problem that you have. It was originally designed to treat patients that were salt sensitive hypertensive. It is called the DASH diet. DASH stands for Dietary Approaches to Stop Hypertension. Now I know that this does not sound fun yet but give me a chance. The diet itself is based on the Mediterranean Diet which focuses on Fruits and Vegetables rather than meats and starches of the American Diet.

These are the guidelines for it:
Starches (whole grain breads and pastas, rices) 6-8 servings/day
Vegetables (as raw as you can take it or steamed) 4-5 servings/day
Fruits (mainly high in Vit C) 4-5 servings/day
Lean meats (all are ok but concentrate on fish) 2, 3 oz. portions/day
Low fat dairy (milks and yogurts) 2- 2 1/2 servings/day
Fats (Mono and poly unsaturated fats i.e. olive oil, fish oil) 2 portions/day
Beans/Nuts/Seeds 5 servings/week
Low fat Sweets (syrup, honey, Jello,etc.) 5 servings/week

I know this sounds strict but it works very well and is quite easy to follow. The diet has a nickname the "cure all" diet. It is used for people who have heart disease of all kinds and is very effective for people with GI problems and diabetes both types and helps build up antioxidants for people who are immunocompromised. Now all of this technical jargon might be too much but it is important to remember to become more healthy.
Lettuce Eat!

School's out for winter

Well it is sort of out for the winter, I have just a few classes left until I can sing and dance in the apartment. yea!!! Well it certainly has been an interesting semester as far as the things that I learned and the things that I look forward to in my last semester at school. Well unfortunately that is about all that I can say right now so we will write more later.

Were Back!!!!Sorry about the delays…The holiday was a little crazy between cooking for 1000, and have family up visiting in Jax. The weekend was a blast. I hope everyone had as much fun as I did. I hope you didn’t miss me to much. I’m sure your over it by know. As you can see an e-mail us feature has been added thanx to my Dad. In the near future We will have pictures and who knows what else will pop up. So if you have a burning question..or a nutritional topic you would like to discuss let us know. We are open minded.

Tuesday’s TipYes! Tuesdays tip is back in full swing.
Why is sleep so important to you????
Most people have trouble waking up in the morning. I known my wife does, how about you? The whole problem begins with not getting enough sleep. On average, most people get an hour too little sleep on average.
In addition to diet and exercise, sleep is on of the most important components of a long healthful life. If you get to little sleep, you eat more just to stay awake. Plus, studies show that lack of sleep also can and will slow your metabolism, preventing your body from using glucose effectively. Were talking about your blood sugar.
Lack of sleep also affects the level of leptin. Your may be wondering what this is? It’s a very important hormone that makes you feel full. When levels are low, you crave sweets such as candy, desserts, and other unhealthy starches.
The worst effects of sleep deprivation have to do with growth hormone levels. Growth hormone levels affect your body’s proportion of fat to muscle as well as repairs muscles while you sleep. If you don’t get enough sleep at night, your daily exercise session will feel harder than it should. You will have a harder time building muscle and keeping fat at bay.
You have to promise yourself that you will start going to bed earlier. It will help you wake up earlier and lose weight faster. It’s that important to you.
Lettuce Eat,
Written by the Mr. K-C