Here is some mindless humor.
Have you ever thought about different ways too...

How Shall I Call Thee Stupid?
( i got on the internet to see how many i could come up with) i found quite a few i didn't include them all...really you don't have to thank me.

Shooting an empty gun.
Hunting in an empty forest.
A few walls short of a complete house.
A few crumbs short of the cake.
His porch light is flickering.
No grain in the silo.
Receiver is off the hook.
Slinky's kinked.
Too much yardage between the goal posts.
Not the sharpest pencil in the box.
About a half a bubble off level.
Skim it Quick if you like!!!

Not the brightest crayon in the box.
A few gunmen short of a posse.
Missing some of dots on his dice?
Only got One Oar In The Water.
Not the quickest bunny in the forest.
The porch lights on, but nobody's home.
Too much chlorine in the gene pool.
Not the brightest bulb on the tree.
Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
The cheese has slipped off the cracker.
You don't have to read them all.....
Not the brightest star in the galaxy.
Not the sharpest tack in the box.
I.Q. of two, but takes three to grunt.
Thinks the Hard Rock Cafe is a restaurant for boulders.
Tried to read a book "between the lines."
A few chocolate chips short of a cookie.
A few tantrums short of a toddler.
A couple gallons short of a swimming pool.
IQ lower than your average rock.
A couple apples short of a bushel.
Several aliens short of a UFO.
A few CDs short of a jukebox.
Elevator doesn't go all the way to the top.
One brick shy of a fireplac

Really you don't have to read them all!!!!
One bubble short of a bath.
Wheels are spinning but the tires are off the ground.
One eye closed and can't see out of the other.
One tree short of a hammock.
He thinks the Mexican border pays rent.
If he blew up a balloon his head would deflate.
Two slices of bread shy of a sandwich.
A few clowns short of a circus.
A few fries short of a happy meal.
An experiment in Artificial Stupidity.
Dumber than a box of hair.
A few peas short of a casserole.
The wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead!
One fruit loop shy of a full bowl.
A few feathers short of a whole duck.
Body by Fisher, brains by Mattel.
Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear.
Are You still reading this crap!!!
Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.
He fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.
An intellect rivaled only by garden tools.
As smart as bait.
Sharp as a marble.
Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash.
Elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor.
Forgot to pay his brain bill.
Some of them are really funny!!!
Her sewing machine's out of thread.
His antenna doesn't pick up all the channels.
His belt doesn't go through all the loops.
If he had another brain, it would be lonely.
Missing a few buttons on his remote control.
It's done ...I really mean it!!!!

I won't tell anyone that you were looking at my stupid list if you don't....this is just between you and I....and cyberspace

Quote of the day: Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment. Buddah

signing off from a very unproductive blog entry. My apologies...the substance just did't make it today... Cheero!!!

Here's a laugh for you!!! Have you ever hit your head on something stupid! Then you say something like this *#@* , Who hasn't? Well I compiled from talking to all kinds of crazy people!!

A tomato. Unfortunately in a can.( fllow kitchen crew member)

A chicken(former stupid intern)

A golf club(my bro-in-law Roy)

Another head(sis karen)

A horseshoe. Yes it did hurt. I had a shaved head at the time.(Guy at work, i think it would have hurt with hair too.)

Metal bar on t-bar ski lift. (After I had fallen down and been run over by 3 skiers using me as a speed bump. this was me over listening at a buffet at work)

A paper airplane with its tail set on fire and covered with glue. My hair was nearly all burned off. ( I made this one up...hehehehe)

My husband head-butted me in the middle of the night while he was still asleep. He didn't have a clue what he had done it until in the morning when he said that his head hurt. I then told him what he had done. (The K-C's)

A burnt refrigerator biscuit - As a newlywed, (crazy lady in house keeping) I forgot about the biscuits in the oven for dinner. I remembered them when the oven started to smoke. The biscuits looked like hockey pucks. My husband started laughing really hard, so I threw one at him. He ducked and it put a dent in the wall. He tossed it back to me and it hit me in the chin.

When I was a kid my friend and I got into a fight, and he hit me on the head with his fist. Then he fell down in extreme pain. He had forgotten that he had just had a cast taken off his arm that morning. He broke his wrist in the same place. ( kitchen crew member))

while fishing my cousin caught a rather large bass and whacked me in the head with it. I couldn't get the smell out for a few days.( one of my bosses, I cannot disclose)

Car( this would be me and my own car)

A frying pan! My youngest daughter started watching that Dinosaurs show!(I made this one up too)

Mini Blinds (and they broke when they hit me in the head!!!)

A bee at 80 mph. Moral - never ride at speed with your helmet visor up.( dumb guy at work)

Last but not least...A dinner plate....You guessed it right it happened to me.

So folks watch your head, because we are all a little nutty. Hmmmm...maybe that's why. We got smacked in the head a few to many times....sounds like it could be one reason.

What’s Your Hurry?
Why are we always in a hurry? We get up in the morning( some early some late) and hurry to get ready for work even if it means falling over the big shoes and drinking instant breakfast on the road.

Of course, every one on the highway is in a hurry. Why are they in such a hurry to get to work? They must like working a whole lot better than I do. But I have to hurry even if I don't want to go to work, to avoid getting rear-ended or dirty looks at me to get out of the way. I'm already going fast enough! Speed is often accidents happen. But we speed, risk traffic tickets, accidents, and injury just because we are in a hurry. it really doesn't make sense does it? And where are all these people going? They all can't be going to work...?

At work, we hurry though the day. No matter how much we have to do there is never enough time. I always would like to add an extra hour to my day...but i would end up with more to do. We hurry through our "to do" list to get to the next task, and then hurry through it as well. Work related stress increases chance of stroke, and heart attack, but we don't have time to worry about that as we are in a hurry.

Maybe we are in a hurry to get to lunch. For those who have a noraml career where you get a lunch time. And those those of us who spend all day feeding everyone else forget to feed ourselves! We didn't eat much breakfast because we didn't have time. So were hungary and in a hurry, not a good combo.

The same people that are in a hurry to get to work in the morning are also in a hurry to get back home at night. And we thought they liked work. But it seems they love being in a hurry. Traffic is a nightmare with everyone rushing to get home. What do they have to do at home... Probably nothing. It's like those that leave church early...for what ??? I just don't get it.

We usually don't want to take time to cook dinner. By the time i get home it's to late...so a bowl of cereal is just great. If we cook, it is most likely some of the convenience foods that are at least partly prepared in advance, or come out of a box. These are better because we can fix them fast and get the food ready in a hurry. We can no longer imagine life without a microwave to fix food in a hurry.
What if we are in too big of a hurry to cook and decide to eat out? If the wait is too long, we look for another place. If the food doesn't arrive quickly many mumble and complain because it is taking too long. Good service has come to be just as important as good food, and good service means timely service for busy people in a hurry. What a shame, people think it should be like the Mc Burger Hut.

We live life in the fast lane, always in a hurry. We use email and send instant messages. We don’t have time to answer the phone so we let the voice mail get it. We have rush hours, express mail, jiffy lubs, instant rebates, and overnight delivery. Why? Because we are in a hurry! We live in a fast age, information flies, and so do we. In spite of all the time we save, we never seem to have enough. Sometimes it makes my head spin while i try to keep up.
And that’s why I’m going to quit now. I'm in a hurry. And you ask where I'm off to.. To bed of course....

That's my little rant for the day ....I apoligize if I made your head spin, toooo.

What is Vegemite?
Vegemite is considered as much a part of Australia's heritage as kangaroos and the Holden cars. It is actually an Australian obsession that has become a unique and loved symbol of the Australian nation.

A Vegemite sandwich to an Australian kid is the equivalent of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich to an American kid - but the taste is QUITE different!( That's what I heard)

Vegemite is one of several yeast extract spreads sold in Australia. It is made from leftover brewers' yeast extract (a by-product of beer manufacture) and various vegetable and spice additives. It is very dark reddish-brown, almost black, in color, and one of the richest sources known of Vitamin B. It's thick like peanut butter, it's very salty, and it tastes like - well let's just say that it is an acquired taste! (That's what a friend told me)
Australian children are brought up on Vegemite from the time they're babies. It is said that Australians are known to travel all over the world with at least one small jar of Vegemite in their luggage, for fear that they will not be able to find it.
History of Vegemite
In 1922, Fred Walker (1884-1935) of Melbourne, Australia decided to try to make a special "yeast extract" that would be as delicious as it was nourishing for his Fred Walker Cheese Company to sell. The chief scientist in the company Fred owned was Dr. Cyril P. Callister, and it was Dr. Callister who invented the first Vegemite spread. He used brewer's yeast and blended the yeast extract with ingredients like celery, onion, salt, and a few secret ingredients to make this paste. In 1912, a national competition and a prize of 50 pounds was offered to the winner or winners to name the new product.. The name ‘Vegemite’ was finally chosen from the entries by Fred’s daughter Sheilah .( i Still Don't want to try it)

With its unusual and unique flavor, Vegemite was not an immediate success and sales were slow. In 1928 Vegemite was renamed and registered as Parwill in an attempt to boost its sales and to attract customers of the rival spread Marmite (an English yeast spread that dominated the Australian market sinc 1910). "If Marmite...then Parwill" was the rationale behind Walker's strategy to carve a niche in the market for his spread. The name Parwill and Walker's play on words didn't catch on. It was only sold as Parwill for a short time in Queensland. The name was withdrawn in 1935, and the original name was reinstated.

Earlier, in 1925, Walker had arranged with the Chicago, Illinois firm of James L. Kraft to make processed cheese in Australia. A company called the Kraft Walker Cheese Co. was established alongside Fred Walker and Co. In 1935, Walker used the success of his processed cheese to launch a new campaign to revive Vegemite. The company launched 2-year coupon redemption scheme whereby a jar of Vegemite was given away with every purchase of other products in the Fred Walker Cheese Company. Australians tried the product and loved it. Vegemite was well and truly on the road to success.
In 1935, the recipe and manufacturing methods was sold to Kraft Foods and has been wholly owned and made by American companies. (isn't that interresting)In 1939 Vegemite received endorsement from the British Medical Association which allowed doctors to recommend it as a Vitamin B-rich, nutritionally balanced food for patients.
In World War II, soldiers, sailors, and the civilian population of Australia all had Vegemite included in their rations. Soldiers’ Vegemite came in three sizes: seven-pound tins for the platoon, eight-ounce tins for soldiers on the go, and half-ounce rations for behind enemy lines. This war-time demand meant that civilian were limited. Hence, advertisements were run to explain the situation: “Vegemite fights with the men up north! If you are one of those who don’t need Vegemite medicinally, then thousands of invalids are asking you to deny yourself of it for the time being.”
The main change to the original recipe in recent years has been to reduce the salt content from 10% to 8%.
Did You Know?
22.7 million jars of Vegemite are manufactured in Australia every year - that's 235 jars per minute.
30 jars are sold in Australia for every one exported.
Vegemite is in nine out of ten pantries in Australia.

So there you have it folks...thats the story and i'm stickin' to it!!!!!

Next ....coming to a blog near you... The History of Vegemite..that's right....what is it...where is it eaten..and what it tastes like...

Strawberry Pop-Tart Blow-Torches

Abstract:
Strawberry Pop Tarts may be cheap and inexpensive. Toasters which fail to eject Pop Tarts cause the Pop Tarts to emit flames 10-18 inches in height.
IntroductionLast year, an article by well-known newspaper columnist Dave Barry noted that Kellogg's Strawberry Pop Tarts (SPTs) could be made to emit flames "like a blow torch" if left in a toaster too long. Given previous work in the field of food-entertainment , it was obvious that this was a new frontier that requires further exploration.

Do you want to know what could happen? Was Dave Barry pulling our legs. Well my distinguished associates and I looked into the matter ourselves.

Summary and Recommendations:

In summary, overcooking the SPT did produce a good size flame. The effect was not as pronounced as the researchers had hoped, but was satisfying nonetheless. The research assistant noted that the flames produced did appear to have some color variation. We believe that frosted SPTs may successfully produce even larger torches. Further research in this area is warranted.
We did desire to repeat the experiment with the remaining five SPTs, but we could not do so because the powers that be said reaserch was over. Instead, the remaining SPTs were sacrified over the course of the next several days in private, undocumented consumption experiments.

Please do not try this at home, unless supervised by a skilled professional.

This science experiment was brought to you by Liesol for deodorant, If it can make your toilet smell like a summer rain just think what it can do for your feet???

...Testing..1...2...3....The a Test of the emergency blog system... This is only a Test

Hello All From Jax...where the grass is green and the swimming pool is mighty full.

Yes we too have had our share from that nasty hurricane, that one's over and so it's back to our regular scheduled programming. I had been off work for five days due to the nasty weather. I can't say that i missed being there because i really didn't miss it. I did miss getting up in the morning and having something to do!!! And my feet are ticked at me for standing on them for a solid eight hours, unlike the prior days when I was partaking in some couch fishing.
So I wrote this little ditty about my barking dogs:

Feet
ouchie, ouchie, ouchie
three hours have gone by
I wish the other five would fly
toes, toes, toes
We are grumpy and sad
The way she treats us we feel bad
The left says to the right
I want cry with all my might
The right says to the left
quite your gripping it's almost over


So folks listen to your feet, because if you don't, they will force you to.
So I hope every one has a ordinary day. Because all this drama brought to you by mother nature is wearing me out.....Seeya next time at same blog time, same blog address......................