Here is some mindless humor.
Have you ever thought about different ways too...

How Shall I Call Thee Stupid?
( i got on the internet to see how many i could come up with) i found quite a few i didn't include them all...really you don't have to thank me.

Shooting an empty gun.
Hunting in an empty forest.
A few walls short of a complete house.
A few crumbs short of the cake.
His porch light is flickering.
No grain in the silo.
Receiver is off the hook.
Slinky's kinked.
Too much yardage between the goal posts.
Not the sharpest pencil in the box.
About a half a bubble off level.
Skim it Quick if you like!!!

Not the brightest crayon in the box.
A few gunmen short of a posse.
Missing some of dots on his dice?
Only got One Oar In The Water.
Not the quickest bunny in the forest.
The porch lights on, but nobody's home.
Too much chlorine in the gene pool.
Not the brightest bulb on the tree.
Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
The cheese has slipped off the cracker.
You don't have to read them all.....
Not the brightest star in the galaxy.
Not the sharpest tack in the box.
I.Q. of two, but takes three to grunt.
Thinks the Hard Rock Cafe is a restaurant for boulders.
Tried to read a book "between the lines."
A few chocolate chips short of a cookie.
A few tantrums short of a toddler.
A couple gallons short of a swimming pool.
IQ lower than your average rock.
A couple apples short of a bushel.
Several aliens short of a UFO.
A few CDs short of a jukebox.
Elevator doesn't go all the way to the top.
One brick shy of a fireplac

Really you don't have to read them all!!!!
One bubble short of a bath.
Wheels are spinning but the tires are off the ground.
One eye closed and can't see out of the other.
One tree short of a hammock.
He thinks the Mexican border pays rent.
If he blew up a balloon his head would deflate.
Two slices of bread shy of a sandwich.
A few clowns short of a circus.
A few fries short of a happy meal.
An experiment in Artificial Stupidity.
Dumber than a box of hair.
A few peas short of a casserole.
The wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead!
One fruit loop shy of a full bowl.
A few feathers short of a whole duck.
Body by Fisher, brains by Mattel.
Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear.
Are You still reading this crap!!!
Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.
He fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.
An intellect rivaled only by garden tools.
As smart as bait.
Sharp as a marble.
Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash.
Elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor.
Forgot to pay his brain bill.
Some of them are really funny!!!
Her sewing machine's out of thread.
His antenna doesn't pick up all the channels.
His belt doesn't go through all the loops.
If he had another brain, it would be lonely.
Missing a few buttons on his remote control.
It's done ...I really mean it!!!!

I won't tell anyone that you were looking at my stupid list if you don't....this is just between you and I....and cyberspace

Quote of the day: Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment. Buddah

signing off from a very unproductive blog entry. My apologies...the substance just did't make it today... Cheero!!!

Here's a laugh for you!!! Have you ever hit your head on something stupid! Then you say something like this *#@* , Who hasn't? Well I compiled from talking to all kinds of crazy people!!

A tomato. Unfortunately in a can.( fllow kitchen crew member)

A chicken(former stupid intern)

A golf club(my bro-in-law Roy)

Another head(sis karen)

A horseshoe. Yes it did hurt. I had a shaved head at the time.(Guy at work, i think it would have hurt with hair too.)

Metal bar on t-bar ski lift. (After I had fallen down and been run over by 3 skiers using me as a speed bump. this was me over listening at a buffet at work)

A paper airplane with its tail set on fire and covered with glue. My hair was nearly all burned off. ( I made this one up...hehehehe)

My husband head-butted me in the middle of the night while he was still asleep. He didn't have a clue what he had done it until in the morning when he said that his head hurt. I then told him what he had done. (The K-C's)

A burnt refrigerator biscuit - As a newlywed, (crazy lady in house keeping) I forgot about the biscuits in the oven for dinner. I remembered them when the oven started to smoke. The biscuits looked like hockey pucks. My husband started laughing really hard, so I threw one at him. He ducked and it put a dent in the wall. He tossed it back to me and it hit me in the chin.

When I was a kid my friend and I got into a fight, and he hit me on the head with his fist. Then he fell down in extreme pain. He had forgotten that he had just had a cast taken off his arm that morning. He broke his wrist in the same place. ( kitchen crew member))

while fishing my cousin caught a rather large bass and whacked me in the head with it. I couldn't get the smell out for a few days.( one of my bosses, I cannot disclose)

Car( this would be me and my own car)

A frying pan! My youngest daughter started watching that Dinosaurs show!(I made this one up too)

Mini Blinds (and they broke when they hit me in the head!!!)

A bee at 80 mph. Moral - never ride at speed with your helmet visor up.( dumb guy at work)

Last but not least...A dinner plate....You guessed it right it happened to me.

So folks watch your head, because we are all a little nutty. Hmmmm...maybe that's why. We got smacked in the head a few to many times....sounds like it could be one reason.

What’s Your Hurry?
Why are we always in a hurry? We get up in the morning( some early some late) and hurry to get ready for work even if it means falling over the big shoes and drinking instant breakfast on the road.

Of course, every one on the highway is in a hurry. Why are they in such a hurry to get to work? They must like working a whole lot better than I do. But I have to hurry even if I don't want to go to work, to avoid getting rear-ended or dirty looks at me to get out of the way. I'm already going fast enough! Speed is often accidents happen. But we speed, risk traffic tickets, accidents, and injury just because we are in a hurry. it really doesn't make sense does it? And where are all these people going? They all can't be going to work...?

At work, we hurry though the day. No matter how much we have to do there is never enough time. I always would like to add an extra hour to my day...but i would end up with more to do. We hurry through our "to do" list to get to the next task, and then hurry through it as well. Work related stress increases chance of stroke, and heart attack, but we don't have time to worry about that as we are in a hurry.

Maybe we are in a hurry to get to lunch. For those who have a noraml career where you get a lunch time. And those those of us who spend all day feeding everyone else forget to feed ourselves! We didn't eat much breakfast because we didn't have time. So were hungary and in a hurry, not a good combo.

The same people that are in a hurry to get to work in the morning are also in a hurry to get back home at night. And we thought they liked work. But it seems they love being in a hurry. Traffic is a nightmare with everyone rushing to get home. What do they have to do at home... Probably nothing. It's like those that leave church early...for what ??? I just don't get it.

We usually don't want to take time to cook dinner. By the time i get home it's to late...so a bowl of cereal is just great. If we cook, it is most likely some of the convenience foods that are at least partly prepared in advance, or come out of a box. These are better because we can fix them fast and get the food ready in a hurry. We can no longer imagine life without a microwave to fix food in a hurry.
What if we are in too big of a hurry to cook and decide to eat out? If the wait is too long, we look for another place. If the food doesn't arrive quickly many mumble and complain because it is taking too long. Good service has come to be just as important as good food, and good service means timely service for busy people in a hurry. What a shame, people think it should be like the Mc Burger Hut.

We live life in the fast lane, always in a hurry. We use email and send instant messages. We don’t have time to answer the phone so we let the voice mail get it. We have rush hours, express mail, jiffy lubs, instant rebates, and overnight delivery. Why? Because we are in a hurry! We live in a fast age, information flies, and so do we. In spite of all the time we save, we never seem to have enough. Sometimes it makes my head spin while i try to keep up.
And that’s why I’m going to quit now. I'm in a hurry. And you ask where I'm off to.. To bed of course....

That's my little rant for the day ....I apoligize if I made your head spin, toooo.

What is Vegemite?
Vegemite is considered as much a part of Australia's heritage as kangaroos and the Holden cars. It is actually an Australian obsession that has become a unique and loved symbol of the Australian nation.

A Vegemite sandwich to an Australian kid is the equivalent of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich to an American kid - but the taste is QUITE different!( That's what I heard)

Vegemite is one of several yeast extract spreads sold in Australia. It is made from leftover brewers' yeast extract (a by-product of beer manufacture) and various vegetable and spice additives. It is very dark reddish-brown, almost black, in color, and one of the richest sources known of Vitamin B. It's thick like peanut butter, it's very salty, and it tastes like - well let's just say that it is an acquired taste! (That's what a friend told me)
Australian children are brought up on Vegemite from the time they're babies. It is said that Australians are known to travel all over the world with at least one small jar of Vegemite in their luggage, for fear that they will not be able to find it.
History of Vegemite
In 1922, Fred Walker (1884-1935) of Melbourne, Australia decided to try to make a special "yeast extract" that would be as delicious as it was nourishing for his Fred Walker Cheese Company to sell. The chief scientist in the company Fred owned was Dr. Cyril P. Callister, and it was Dr. Callister who invented the first Vegemite spread. He used brewer's yeast and blended the yeast extract with ingredients like celery, onion, salt, and a few secret ingredients to make this paste. In 1912, a national competition and a prize of 50 pounds was offered to the winner or winners to name the new product.. The name ‘Vegemite’ was finally chosen from the entries by Fred’s daughter Sheilah .( i Still Don't want to try it)

With its unusual and unique flavor, Vegemite was not an immediate success and sales were slow. In 1928 Vegemite was renamed and registered as Parwill in an attempt to boost its sales and to attract customers of the rival spread Marmite (an English yeast spread that dominated the Australian market sinc 1910). "If Marmite...then Parwill" was the rationale behind Walker's strategy to carve a niche in the market for his spread. The name Parwill and Walker's play on words didn't catch on. It was only sold as Parwill for a short time in Queensland. The name was withdrawn in 1935, and the original name was reinstated.

Earlier, in 1925, Walker had arranged with the Chicago, Illinois firm of James L. Kraft to make processed cheese in Australia. A company called the Kraft Walker Cheese Co. was established alongside Fred Walker and Co. In 1935, Walker used the success of his processed cheese to launch a new campaign to revive Vegemite. The company launched 2-year coupon redemption scheme whereby a jar of Vegemite was given away with every purchase of other products in the Fred Walker Cheese Company. Australians tried the product and loved it. Vegemite was well and truly on the road to success.
In 1935, the recipe and manufacturing methods was sold to Kraft Foods and has been wholly owned and made by American companies. (isn't that interresting)In 1939 Vegemite received endorsement from the British Medical Association which allowed doctors to recommend it as a Vitamin B-rich, nutritionally balanced food for patients.
In World War II, soldiers, sailors, and the civilian population of Australia all had Vegemite included in their rations. Soldiers’ Vegemite came in three sizes: seven-pound tins for the platoon, eight-ounce tins for soldiers on the go, and half-ounce rations for behind enemy lines. This war-time demand meant that civilian were limited. Hence, advertisements were run to explain the situation: “Vegemite fights with the men up north! If you are one of those who don’t need Vegemite medicinally, then thousands of invalids are asking you to deny yourself of it for the time being.”
The main change to the original recipe in recent years has been to reduce the salt content from 10% to 8%.
Did You Know?
22.7 million jars of Vegemite are manufactured in Australia every year - that's 235 jars per minute.
30 jars are sold in Australia for every one exported.
Vegemite is in nine out of ten pantries in Australia.

So there you have it folks...thats the story and i'm stickin' to it!!!!!

Next ....coming to a blog near you... The History of Vegemite..that's right....what is it...where is it eaten..and what it tastes like...

Strawberry Pop-Tart Blow-Torches

Abstract:
Strawberry Pop Tarts may be cheap and inexpensive. Toasters which fail to eject Pop Tarts cause the Pop Tarts to emit flames 10-18 inches in height.
IntroductionLast year, an article by well-known newspaper columnist Dave Barry noted that Kellogg's Strawberry Pop Tarts (SPTs) could be made to emit flames "like a blow torch" if left in a toaster too long. Given previous work in the field of food-entertainment , it was obvious that this was a new frontier that requires further exploration.

Do you want to know what could happen? Was Dave Barry pulling our legs. Well my distinguished associates and I looked into the matter ourselves.

Summary and Recommendations:

In summary, overcooking the SPT did produce a good size flame. The effect was not as pronounced as the researchers had hoped, but was satisfying nonetheless. The research assistant noted that the flames produced did appear to have some color variation. We believe that frosted SPTs may successfully produce even larger torches. Further research in this area is warranted.
We did desire to repeat the experiment with the remaining five SPTs, but we could not do so because the powers that be said reaserch was over. Instead, the remaining SPTs were sacrified over the course of the next several days in private, undocumented consumption experiments.

Please do not try this at home, unless supervised by a skilled professional.

This science experiment was brought to you by Liesol for deodorant, If it can make your toilet smell like a summer rain just think what it can do for your feet???

...Testing..1...2...3....The a Test of the emergency blog system... This is only a Test

Hello All From Jax...where the grass is green and the swimming pool is mighty full.

Yes we too have had our share from that nasty hurricane, that one's over and so it's back to our regular scheduled programming. I had been off work for five days due to the nasty weather. I can't say that i missed being there because i really didn't miss it. I did miss getting up in the morning and having something to do!!! And my feet are ticked at me for standing on them for a solid eight hours, unlike the prior days when I was partaking in some couch fishing.
So I wrote this little ditty about my barking dogs:

Feet
ouchie, ouchie, ouchie
three hours have gone by
I wish the other five would fly
toes, toes, toes
We are grumpy and sad
The way she treats us we feel bad
The left says to the right
I want cry with all my might
The right says to the left
quite your gripping it's almost over


So folks listen to your feet, because if you don't, they will force you to.
So I hope every one has a ordinary day. Because all this drama brought to you by mother nature is wearing me out.....Seeya next time at same blog time, same blog address......................

There IS life after the Olympics!!!!

I guess I have to move on with my life. I hope every one got there fill of the games for a while. I know I did, though I could watch more if it was still on. But that's ok I can make for the next seventeen months...that's right a count daon to winter games has offically started.

Here are my top reasons for my Olympic addiction:

8) Pole vault.. It's super cool...

7)Super fast slow motion...replays

6) trying to pronounce the names of the atheletes from other countries

5) All the unnatural noises that were made during the shot put, and other field games

4)The use of windex( you know you saw it at the closing ceremony...you know the big fat greek wedding.)

3)Great photography of Greece

2) American athletes kick'in butt and taking names

1) The swim suit competition...hehehehe

Well i must move on with my life. seventeen months till the next winter games..I can't wait..you just gotta love curling...I always wanted to try that one

Polishing up the ole Resume....

that's right folks it's time time to update and make it pretty. It's something I need to do, I don't want to miss any opportunities. But remember folks if your working on yours there is a few things you may want to avoid...
RESUME BLOOPERS

How bad a mistake can you make on your resume?
"Education: Curses in liberal arts, curses in computer science, curses in accounting."
"Personal: Married, 1992 Chevrolet."
"I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse."
"I am a rabid typist."
"Exposure to German for two years, but many words are not appropriate for business."
"Proven ability to track down and correct erors."
"Personal interests: Donating blood. 15 gallons so far."
"I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely nothing and absolutely no one."
"References: None, I've left a path of destruction behind me."
"Strengths: Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composer."
"Don't take the comments of my former employer too seriously, they were unappreciative beggars and slave drivers."
"I procrastinate - especially when the task is unpleasant."
"Qualifications: No education or experience."
"Disposed of $2.5 billion in assets."
"Accomplishments: Oversight of entire department."
"Extensive background in accounting. I can also stand on my head!"
Cover letter: "Thank you for your consideration. Hope to hear from you shorty

so you may want to avoid making thoughs big mistakes....the world is full of opportunity so keep your eyes open or you may miss out on something great!!!

Food trivia : (yes some more wonderfully useless info!!)
Some things are not what they seem. Did you know the following facts?

Rice paper does not contain one grain of rice - its made from either Rice straw, Bamboo, Hemp, Mulberry leaves, Wingceltis or Gampi.

Ten gallon hats only hold about 6 pints. (that's totally useless)

Refried beans aren't really what they seem. Although their name seems like a reasonable translation of Spanish frijoles refritos, the fact is that these beans aren't fried twice. In Spanish, refritos literally means "well-fried," not "re-fried."

The hamburger was invented in 1900 by Louis Lassen. He ground beef, broiled it, and served it between two pieces of toast. (sowhen when you have no buns and put it onbread it's the right way after all, huh?..)

The pound cake got its name from the pound of butter it contained. (I thought it was called # cake because it would make you gain them after eating it..)

The world's costliest coffee, at $130 a pound , is called Kopi Luwak. It is in the droppings of a type of marsupial that eats only the very best coffee beans. Plantation workers track them and scoop their precious poop. (Yummy, anyone want a cup?)

To determine the percentage of alcohol in a bottle of liquor divide the proof by two. (I'm sure most of you all ready knew that)

Spilling salt considered good luck in Japan.

The most recognized smell in the world is coffee.

About 8 percent of the weight in a box of corn flakes is corn.(what's the rest of it???)

Just some more useless information...

And coming soon to a blog near you..that's right...yep that's it.Ok i really have
no idea...I guess you will have to stop by yourself...

You Know U Have To Much Time on Your Hands When....

You spend time looking up this...


Jell-o Factoids
* Grapefruit, apples and pears will float in Jell-O; prunes and
maraschino cherries won't.
* When hooked up to EEG machine, Jell-O demonstrates movement virtually
identical to the brain waves of a healthy man or woman.
* Per capita consumption is highest in Salt Lake City.
* If all of the packages fo Jell-O gelatin dessert produced in one year
were placed end-to-end, they would stretch three-fifths of the way
around the earth.

Do You have a Case Of the Mondays????
That's right, it time to raise your cup of coffee to another exciting week...woohoo!!
....This just in. (Suburb) police have arrested a gang of mosquitoes breaking into to blood bank! Film at noon. I thought you should start your day with a good chuckle...and how do i know it's going to be a really hectic around here. Oops! I think I just put parsesan cheese in my coffee. just kidding!

Today's blog is brought to you by the exciting new Liquid Plumber Face Cream. If it'll unclog your sink, you know it'll unclog your pores.

Signing off ....The Crazy Mrs.

Imagine If you could have conversations around this cooler at work!!!! I bet the topics would be pretty interesting.


Warning:

Silly Food joke coming your way!!!!

THREE COOKS JOKE
Three cooks, one from Kentucky, one from California and one from Oregon were sitting on a park bench passing the time. Suddenly, the cook from Kentucky reaches under the bench and drags out a new bottle of bourbon, takes a big swig, tosses the bottle into the air and shoots it with a pistol.
"What did you do that for?" asks the cook from California.
"We got lots of bourbon in Kentucky" was the reply.
Next the cook from California takes out a bottle of fine wine, takes a huge swig, throws the bottle into the air and shoots it with a pistol.
"What did you do that for?" asks the cook from Oregon.
"We got lots of wine in California" was the reply.
The cook from Oregon takes out a bottle of Henry's Private Reserve beer, takes a humongous swig and shoots the cook from California.
"What did you do that for?" asks the cook from Kentucky.
"We got lots of Californians in Oregon" was the reply.


Have a great day i gotta run...Thats right it's shower time...then I have to get some shuteye...

I Bid Farewell to a Fabulous Culinarian
OBITUARY: NY Times
Julia Child, 91, Dies; She Entertained as She Taught Cooking
By REGINA SCHRAMBLING
Julia Child, whose warbling, encouraging voice and able hands brought the intricacies of French cuisine to American home cooks through her television series and books, died in her sleep three days before what would have been her 92nd birthday.

Julia Child was one classy lady, and she will be missed by all. I grew up watching her cook and thought to myself that is what I wanted to accomplish when I get older. Well here I am now, and as a dedicated culinarian making my way through the crazy world of food. She is one person I would have loved to have meet. I know she would be proud of my passion and enthusiasm. But I truly enjoy watching Julia cook, laugh, and especially her guests. Her lively spirit will always be in my heart and mind to encourage me to be just like her one day.. She is my ICON!!!! We MISS you Julia!

Back To Ye Ole Blog:

Now we resume our regularly scheduled blog!! Sorry about the hold up folks this past weeks been a little crazy...The hurricane and all. I have to thank my parents for coming up and visiting us up in Jax. We had a lovierly time. Thanks again and Happy Anniversary again. And for all you out there who were trying to get there hands on that lovely lighthouse painting, it's to late. I gave it to my parents as an anniversary gift. So if you feel the need to visit it you will have stop by their hooose.

Weekends Are Pretty Cool!!!!

That's right I was off on a weekend! I hear you saying it...wow! Well yes I did enjoy my weekend. Mingled with the monday thru friday crowd. Sat. night I ate out at a mexican joint. It was quite yummy, they had some Guy playing guitar, contempary rock stuff. He was pretty good for a solo act. The one thing about weekends that suck are the crowds on the roads and the stores have a million people buy this or that. It is kind of nice to see what it is like to have a weekend off...it not part of my usual routine.

So i hope all you mon thru fridayers have a pleasant ...And this one's for you!!!

A Friend's Prayer
May the fleas of a thousand camels infest the crotch of the person who screws up your day and may their arms be too short to scratch.Amen

How Ya'll Doing???

Only two more days to go till I get to be off from work. So today will be day 9. I know what your thinkin' ...that it sucks. Well it sure does. but enough of that shop talk. Onward...!!!


OF COURSE I'M TIRED
Yes, I'm tired. For a couple years I've been blaming it on iron, poor blood, lack of vitamins, dieting and a dozen other maladies. But now I found out, it ain't that. I'm tired because I'm overworked.The population of this country is 237 million. 104 million are retired. That leaves 133 million to do the work.There are 85 million in school, which leave 48 million to do the work.Of this there are 29 million employed by the federal government. This leaves 19 million to do the work.Four million are in the Armed Forces, which leaves 15 million to do the work.Take from the total the 14,800,000 people who work for State and City Government and that leaves 200,000 to do the work.There are 188,000 in hospitals, so that leaves 12,000 to do the work.Now, there are 11,998 people in Prisons. That leaves just two people to do the work.You and me.Boy Oh Boy..And you're sitting there reading this. No wonder I'm tired; I'm the only one working.

That's all folks. Look for another blogg entry at a computer near you

Food For Thought!!

Every day, birds eat 1/2 their own weight in food! So, why do people say that a poor eater "eats like a bird?" If this were the case, a 50 pound child would consume 25 pounds of food a day.


PEPSI AND COCA COLA in China--A Little Humor! PEPSI'S "Come Alive With the PEPSI Generation" Slogan, when translated into Chinese, means "PEPSI Brings Your Ancestors Back From the Grave." The COCA COLA name in China was first read as "Kekoukela," meaning "Bite the wax tadpole" or "female horse stuffed with was," depending on the dialect. COKE then researched 40,000 characters to find a phonetic equivalent. The new name is KOKOU KOLE, which means "happiness in the mouth."

As you can see I have to much time on my hands????
Here's a little hint for good health...


Why Healthy Snacking Is Good for You and I. Healthy snacks can be a great way to get all the vitamins and neutriants our bodies need. I sometimes have noticed that I feel hungry a lot. This is natural for people of all ages. Small, healthy meals and snacks are a terrific way to satisfy that nagging hunger. But we need to pay attention to what we eat. Stuffing my face with a large order of fries after before a long busy nightmay give mea temporary boost, but a snack this high in fat and calories will only slow me down in the long run. And I don't need that...
To keep your energy levels going consistently - and to avoid weight gain - I steer clear of foods with lots of simple carbohydrates (sugars) like candy bars or soda. I look for foods that contain complex carbohydrates (starches) like whole-grain breads and cereals or eat protein-rich snacks such as low-fat yogurt or cottage cheese. There's nothing like a bowl of cereal..in the afternoon. It's quick and easy and will keep my energy level even until the next meal. So if you're on the late lunch plan but haven't eaten since breakfast at 6:00 AM,(i not speaking of me this is just an example) toss some fruit or trail mix into your backpack, purse, or breif case.That way you won't feel tempted to grab unhealthy vending machine when that hunger hits. Another plus that I have found with sncking, i don't over eat at meals. That's a big plus for me..Or should I say a Minus in the making.

I hope everyone has a happy healthy day...:')

SIGNS YOUR SWIMMING POOL NEEDS CLEANING :

It's summer time folks, and I look down into the pool behind our apartment..and see the ducks  swimming in like they own it. Sometimes it's kind of nasty!!  Or maybe some of the following may be sins that time to clean your pool:

- That green tarp covering your pool? You DON'T have a tarp on your pool.

- Neighborhood kids ask if they can jump on your trampoline.

-- Kids still pee in your pool, but they refuse to get in it first.

- Skipping rocks across it causes sparks.

- New algae species attract a Discovery Channel film crew to your backyard.

- Jello-like water slowing the pace of K's 500 race to unacceptable levels. (it's a family thing)

-- The Grim Reaper shows up in his Speedo.

- Dr. Kervorkian seen filling IV bottles at pool side.

- The amount of body hair found in the drain gives even Robin Williams a run for his money. (I know that's really gross)


Speaking of cleaning, I went nut's while doing the bathroom it's sparkling now. Nothing like shower doors that have no soap scum, and shiny faucets... 
Bathtubs
I'm sure I'm comparable to all of you folks out there. We all like a clean bathtub - don't we? It really makes for a more tranquilizing atmosphere for those long soaks when the tub is squeaky clean!
Now, I don't know about you, but I am particularly fond of dipping into my tub right after my daily 8 to tan hours slaving in the kitchen. The soak really does wonders for relaxing those poor achy muscles in my fingers and hands, relieves the backaches, and sure soothes the shoulders and neck.
But ... I was just wondering if there's a better way to clean the tub?
Those who clean tubs all know the scenario...
First you wet the tub ... uhhhhh, from-the-faucet-of-course!
Then you sprinkle down the tub with cleanser.
Now you bend over into that ever popular position ... Tummy teetering over the wall of the tub, with arms flailing wildly over the tub ready to scrub a dub, dub ... while your butt protrudes oh-so recklessly behind you!
Now as far as I'm concerned, this is the most undignified position to be found in be almost anyone.
There's just got to be a better way to clean that tub!
Any of you folks got any ideas?

How’s Life?
 
Well for me it’s business as usual. Fight with the alarm clock, no matter what time it is set for it’s never a good time for me. I tend to snooze a little to much on the average day. Everyone always tells me that I should set it later and I wouldn’t need to snooze. Yeah right, we are talking about me, right? Everyday I wake up wanting to throw the alarm clock out the window. Come on I know I am not the only one out there with these feelings. So finally I get my but out of bed, after much struggle. Run to the can, If you snoozed as long as I do you have to go pretty bad. Walk out sit my butt on the couch and flip through the 4 channels that we have and sigh….. I think about breakfast for a short second. Scratch my head than usually decide to eat. I love breakfast food but I hate the time of day this meal lands in. They always say breakfast is the most important part of the day. So if I’m eating breakfast at 10 pm, that counts right?  Enough of that for now for another interesting topic.

Do you ever have really stupid thoughts or questions?  I know I do…I know it’s hard to believe. So if your reading this, and thinking, man that’s stupid. That’s because it is!!

why are traffic lights red, yellow and green?
why not red, yellow and blue to match traditional primary colors? i would even be happy with red, green and blue, the primary additive colors. or cyan, magenta and yellow, which are the true primary subtractive colors.
were the colors for traffic lights chosen for metaphorical reasons? i’m sure there is a government conspiracy behind it, i just haven’t made the connection yet.
AND
Yo Gack
just because you can make yogurt taste like a mocha latte doesn’t mean that you should.
OK Just one more

Tasty Soap?
personal hygiene products seem to smell more and more like real food. You go to take a shower and you end up with the munchies??
froot loops-scented deodorant. (ok this was not a real one that I know of yet)
tangerine-scented face scrub.
coconut cream foot lotion
chestnut body bar
lemon butter cuticle cream
obligatory minty toothpaste
now all i need is some meat-scented shampoo and wheat floss to round out the food pyramid.

Alright I won’t keep going on this train of thought…No really you don’t have to thank me, really.. Have an most excellent day!!And if you have a stupid thought, share it with some one. You might get a good laugh or even a strange look. You know I am all for that!!

Spa Cuisine...It's not snobby..It's healthy!!!
 
"Spa Cuisine", an approach to eating that offers a comprehensive healthy balanced meal plan each day in the made up of delicious and satisfying entrees and snack
One of the challenges of healthy eating is to incorporate all the daily essential vitamins, minerals, phytochemicals, fiber, and antioxidants into a reasonable number of calories per day. These essential nutrients comprise a large number, and it takes technique to cover them off each day without ingesting an enormous amount of food. It means that a menu cannot "waste calories"; that is, only foods that are efficient in delivering the essential nutrients can be included if you wish to maintain or lose weight, rather than steadily gain. The more I watch what I eat and how I prepare food, the more fascinating  this cuisine has become. Many believe spa cuisine is complex.. or even silly.  The more I look into it the more it makes sense.
 
Some of the principles of spa food also show huge benifits when combined with a healthy life style: 
Research and practice the things that seem to PREVENT weight loss and good health are: Inadequate breakfast, Inadequate water, Inadequate activity after the last meal of the day.Inadequate amount of fiber foods daily, and too many starchy foods (bread) Inadequate daily vegetable intake. Too much of animal product foods (especially high in fat)
The following are 4 simple principles to help start a program of weight loss and good health:

FOOD:- eat 25 grams of fiber per day. Minimum.-   a higher fat diet of plant foods(Remember veggies are in the carb catagorie) is much better than a lower fat diet of protein and starch products.( None whole grain processed starches are not that good for use) 
WATER:- pure water is the preferred and most effective fluid.- drink enough water each day to make your urine colorless.
MEALS:- breakfast should be eaten as soon as possible after rising, and contain 4 -12 grams of fiber.- lunch and dinner should contain a minimum of 1.5 cups of vegetables each meal.
ACTIVITY:- do something active every day, trying to incorporate different cardiovascular, flexibility, and strength exercise within a week.- do something active for 25 minutes after your last meal of the day.Take a walk after dinner.
 
Who know's i could be the next great Spa Chef. Look out world, ...The challenge is to find the best and tastiest foods in the most creative combinations. I would make food  fresh, organic, interesting, tasty, and satisfying. I could offer vegetarian, poultry and fish, and vegan (non-animal product vegetarian) it's all about options.
 
Have a happy healthy day. And i look forward to sharing spa recipes for the everyday cook, in the near future. Also I going to break down how you really only break down all foods into three catagories. I have Mr. K-C give my a hand at that. It's very interesting what I found out about my own diet.  I share that with you all soon.

  




 

Back In JAX:
 
Back to the grind. Unfortunately I had to return reality today. I know what your thinking, it is such a same. I do agree, No matter if you take one day off or five it's never enough. The bills have to get paid some how I guess?
I had a great time hanging out with the family. It was a blast, can't wait for the next time we get to hang out. It's amazing thatI ate and drank whatever i wanted and didn't gain weight...I lost a little. It must have been getting away from work . Those fresh baked pastries are deadly to my waist line.
Speaking of waist line here are some was to burn more calories...
 
I've always been fascinated by the various ways there are to burn calories to keep myself fit and trim.  There's a wealth of information on the internet for providing specifics on how many calories you can burn for routine exercise regimes, like weight lifting, aerobics and swimming.  Well if you're like me who has little time in their schedule to workout, then you'd wonder how many calories can be burned doing routine things in your life.  With that, I've compiled my Top 10 List Of Strange And Unusual Ways to Burn Calories. My Top Ten List is based on doing the specific activities for one hour for my weight which is ***  pounds.  Your results will vary, as the more you weigh, the more calories you burn and vice versa.
 
10. Raking The Lawn -  Something I don't have to do, but I thought you would be interested. So put those blowers down.  360 Calories Burned
 
9. Sitting -  I do this all the time as I spend most of my life in front of the computeror tv afterwork, plus I figure it's easy and most people can do it.  96 Calories Burned
 
8. Housecleaning -  Again something I hate to do but is a necessity (most of the time).  576 Calories Burned
 
7. Shopping -  Now here's one that I used to hate, but am starting to enjoy it more and more.  I'm sure most people would agree with me here.  216 Calories Burned
 
6. Bowling  -  I never thought that I'd be burning calories from something that I truly enjoy.  This may not work to your favor if multple beers are involved. 276 Calories Burned
 
5. Brushing Your Teeth  -  Something that we all do all the time (or most of us). My dentist has told me to brush after every meal, hell now that I'm looking to keep trim for the summer I'll brush 6 to 8 times a day. 228 Calories Burned
 
4. Kissing  -  Another favorite of mine.  I'll make some time to increase the amount of this activity any day. 96 Calories Burned
 
3. Watching TV  -  This is something that most people do on a daily basis.  Who would have ever thought you could burn calories with this favorite pastime. 96 Calories Burned
 
2. Playing Cards  -  This activity is high on my favorites list, (even though my mom beat me three times in a row recently) even higher now that I know I'm burning calories doing it.  My next card game I'll skip the snacks and stick to water and playing cards. (yah right!!) 156 Calories Burned
 
1. Sex  -  My favorite activity on the list!  Now this is one activity I'll find time for as I'm sure most people will also. Keep in mind the number of calories burned is for doing this activity for one hour.  Let's all get out there and burn some serious calories by partaking more in this activity!  384 Calories Burned As Always Remember To Lose Weight With Passion! 
 
I hope this list is helpful, interesting and quite humorous.
 

Hi all...from the west coast of fl!!!

Thank goodness for a few days off. That's right i have time to relax. So Sunday afternoon i packed my car an popped down my home town. It's fun just to hang out with the family!!! Wooo hooo!!!
Al those of you at work have a good time!!

FOOD TRIVIA
Licking a regular size, multicolor stamp delivers .007 calories. A larger commemorative, such as *Elvis*, has .014 calories.

Hershey's Kisses are called that because the machine that makes them
looks like it's kissing the conveyor belt.

Researchers at Harvard University, spurred by an urban myth, tested the effectiveness of Coca-Cola as a spermicide. The result: Diet Coke worked a little, but not well enough to qualify as a new form of birth control.

Survey: 14% of those responding make milk part of their sex lives.

Derrick Johnson of Newport Beach, California was fired from his stock clerk job in a supermarket because he talked to USA Today about his membership in the Poultry Bowling Association. Johnson and fellow clerks on the night shift used frozen turkeys to bowl over "pins" - two liter soft drink bottles.

In August of 1993, the Economic Evening News of Taiyuan, China, reported that a woman in her thirties, unidentified in the story, had eaten more than 800 rubber nipples from baby bottles in the last three years. A province health official said all family members apparently liked the smell of rubber.

The electric pickle is an experiment that was a tremendous success in freshman electronics class. You go to a deli, see, and get a big kosher dill pickle, seven or eight inches long. Then you cut the cord of an old electric appliance and strip the ends to expose two or three inches of split wire. (Unplug it first.) Get two two- or three-inch nails, wrap one strand of wire around each nail, and stick the nails into the pickle. Then plug in the cord. "After about ten seconds the pickle will light up, glowing and crackling. It's really quite bright. You can try it at home," says Franklin, "but don't touch the pickle."

cRAZY aBOUT FATTENING FOOD??
If I tell you not to think of monkeys for next 5 minutes, the first thought that will invariably come to your mind will be of monkeys!

Likewise, if you're attempting to follow a low fat healthy diet program, keeping away from fatty food becomes a challenge of a lifetime and can be very depressing. Here are some alternatives to high-fat fare that you may find helpful.

First of all milkshakes.. Don't we all love 'em? But the usual stuff is way too fattening to continue with while trying to lose weight. The healthy alternative is to make them with low-fat frozen yogurt and skim milk. It does the trick so incredibly well that generally you won't even notice the difference and your craving goes away as soon as you sip it!

Next up cream cheese.. especially for your bagel topping.. Try pureeing some low or non-fat cottage cheese along with fresh fruit, your favorite spice or flavoring or maybe some strawberry jam. This will provide you with creamy, delightful topping for your bagel without the added fat. Moreover go for store bought bagels rather than the Bakery bagels which tend to be more fattening. TRY WHOLE WHEAT THEY ARE BETTER FOR YOU AND I!!

Rain Rules! Thought for the day:
Today the sky dropped a ton of rain! It was great!!! I was standing in the kitchen and I heard some rumbling, so I peaked out side and there was a waterfall coming off the roof. I don’t why people complain about it. Everything is green, the air is fresh, and my car needed a bath. Rain just makes me relax. I want to tell those people there crazy. If your not a rain lover than you need to get over it. Try gripping about something you have some control over. And best of all it isn’t 9000 degrees when it’s raining. Woo hoo!!! Rain Rules!!

I'm Back!!!!And better than EVER!!!

First i would like to do a shout out to my AWESOME Dad!!!!
As you all know my computer was on the fritz, and over the holiday weekend my lil sis went home to visit our folks. So i sent my crazy computer home for it to get a check up with Dad. it was just what the doctor ordered....Now my computer is all tuned up and running great. Thanks Dad your Awesome!!!!

I hope everyone had a nice holiday weekend of fun and all the holiday trimmings. Of course i worked, nothing different than any other holiday, with the exception of a butt load of BBQ.

First of all, the word barbeque is misused. When you cook steaks, hot dogs and hamburgers (and whatever else you want) on the grill, well hello.....guess what? That is called Grilling!

Cooking meat over an open fire has been around since the cave man. But the cave man didn't BBQ. Why? Because he had no sauce. LOL! Actually, as far as we know, the cave men just grilled over an open fire.

So just what is barbequing? Now pay attention. It will probably end up being a question on "Jeopardy" someday!

To barbeque (going to use BBQ from now on since it's so hard to type) is slow-cooking meat at a low temperature for a long time over wood or charcoal. Not gas! Although, most of us without a discerning culinary palette don't know the difference.

BBQ began in the late 1800's during cattle drives out West. The men had to be fed (cowboys) and the boss (cattle baron) didn't want to feed them the good meat. So, other disposable cuts were used to feed the men. The main choice for this was Brisket, which is a very tough, stringy piece of meat. However, the cowboys learnt that if you left this brisket to cook for a long period of time (5-7 hours) at approximately 200 degrees (although I don't know how they knew the temperature over a fire?) that wha-la! A super yummie meal was to be had. Besides Brisket, other meats that they found to BBQ well, were pork butt, pork ribs, beef ribs, venison and goat.

The basic BBQ grill is a cooking chamber with an offset firebox or a water smoker. The average KMart gas grill is not for BBQ, but for grilling. Today BBQ is a hobby -- or passion with some -- and enjoyed by millions of Americans each year. I guess it's one of the things we as Americans can claim as "authentic" and part of our culture and not a cooking style that has been brought from another country.

To BBQ is to truly cook American.


You know what they say? "When in Rome...do as the Romans." This can apply to BBQ also. Different areas of the country have different meat priorities and preparations. For example, in the Southeast, pork is the preferred meat to BBQ. Digging a pit (to concentrate cooking heat and smoke) goes back to European culture. Then it was forgotten until the Jamestown colonists arrived. Since pigs were running around freely to fatten themselves up, (only to be captured and eaten later) pork became the sustenance meat of Virginia and later the southern states. This also was a blessing when crops didn't produce as they should for whatever reasons.

But, the sauce is what seems to define a BBQ chef or restaurant. In the South they seem to like thinner BBQ sauces, with a more vinegary tone. Other parts of the US prefer the thick, sweet, tomato BBQ sauce. But in Texas they season their beef with a dry-rub mixture of seasonings.

There are even quirky BBQ's in some restaurants or areas of the United States. In the early 1900's, New Yorkers loved turtle BBQ. I think that got replaced by New York pizza or cheesecake?

It's undeniable that BBQ is popular and well-loved in American society. But, BBQ tastes and cooking differ. Real BBQ purists claim that a restaurant that offers its customers a grilled piece of meat slapped with some sauce later isn't eating real BBQ at all. Others say it is, as long as the sauce is there, then it's BBQ!


(Information source for the above information on BBQ is from posts I read on the American Cooking Bulletin Board and my own personal experiences.)


I hope found this info fun and interesting. Remember folks its the summertime...thats right bbg season is offically here...so light some fires and get cook'in!!!!!!

Leftovers!!!

That's right folks that's what I want to talk about today!!! So many people I know don't care for leftovers! The first thing I have to say is don't cook so much I'm not going to lay the guilt trip about the starving people of the world on you, but it's a shame to waste. I on the other hand think of it as a lovely meal that I don't have to prepare.. just think about it, the food has time to really become flavorfull! Leftover pasta dishes are awesome and so yummy. In fact I had leftovers tonight and they were delicious!!!

So what to do with your leftovers? Well, you can always give them to your dog Killer, but why should he enjoy all the fruits of your hard work (or the labor of the guy at the local grocery store)? Check out how to store and actually enjoy your leftovers -- there are so many possibilities, you'll be forced to cook more next year to ensure some food remains.


· Before you handle any food whatsoever, make sure to wash your hands with soap and warm water (note to self), so that you don't spoil the food.
· Remember that food should always be refrigerated within 2 hours of the time it was prepared.
· Although it may be tempting to leave food on the counter in order for it to cool, it's better to cool it in the refrigerator (even if they're hot leftovers).
· Food shouldn't sit in 40-140 degree (Fahrenheit) temperatures (at least not for more than 3 hours at a time), as this warm temperature is a breeding ground for bacteria. Make sure your refrigerator is always at 35-40 degrees.
· Store meat and desserts in aluminum foil, plastic wrap, or tightly sealed plastic containers, and other leftovers such as stuffing, potatoes and vegetables in tightly sealed plastic containers.
· Remember that meat, seafood and stuffing should be eaten within 3-4 days.
Final tip: it's recommended to store smaller portions in separate containers rather than pack more into fewer containers, as leftovers cool better this way, especially if the containers have a little bit of space between them while in the fridge (note: time to get rid of all those empty Chinese food containers) Just kidding I can't remember the last time we ate chinese food it's really not that good for you.

And there's so many things to do with leftovers:
Stir fryJust stir fry some leftover ham or pork, fresh or leftover vegetables, and add some noodles or rice if you like.

Salad
Slice or dice some leftover stuff and add to leftover or fresh salad. Add whatever other leftovers; it'll be a jumbled mix of taste in a salad.
Soup surprise
Make broth with leftover bones and scrap to add flavor), and as well as diced vegetables.

Most of these options can make for a great packed lunch to enjoy at work, but sandwiches and salads are easiest to prepare on the go.

Omelet
Just fry up some eggs and toss in whatever leftovers you have

Desserts
Any of the desserts you have left over can be enjoyed as snacks for work, or just invite people over for coffee, tea and dessert the next day.(not there's dessert leftovers very often)

Alcohol

Although it's tempting to finish up all the alcohol you have left over yourself, there's no need to rush; alcohol can remain for a long period of time if it's covered, so you can keep your bottles handy for the next time you have a party or a hot Dude or babe over.


Remember that food may smell or look good, but it won't look so good after you've gotten sick from the rotten stuffing and turkey you just had. Leftovers don't just happen at the holidays!! So if you have doubts, just throw it out.

You can always share the leftovers with your dog, but once you see how good they can be, he'll have to fight you for them.

Speaking of art

Hello all! So I've been slowly working on this painting for the last couple of weeks. I really like how it is turning out, The only problem is that I tired of working on it. i'm only about half way through it. I used to sit down and do a painting in a couple hours. But I am tiring to slow down and put more time into these pieces, I like the results i'm getting. the only problem is I tend to get bored with the painting before i get done. Enough about that serious sounding stuff...

Check this out!!
Not only does San Francisco's Solid Waste Transfer and Recycling Center (i.e., the city dump) have an "artist in residence," but sculptor Rick Carpenter is actually the 43rd person to hold that position, according to an April San Francisco Chronicle report. Carpenter said his specialty is discarded bulk items, citing, for example, the weaving he made from 40 orange extension cords, and his latest, an object stuffed with the contents of a 5-gallon bucket of wigs someone tossed. [San Francisco Chronicle, 4-22-04]

I think I'll stick with painting in my living room..i wonder if he sells his work??? He could become stinking rich...hehehehe...no pun intended. oK it was intended...

THROW AWAY MILK WHEN IT REACHES THE EXPIRATION DATE
Screw it!
The date on the carton is just the date after which it can't be sold. The milk probably has another week of freshness, says Susan Bowerman, M.S., R.D., assistant director of the UCLA Center for Human Nutrition. Give it a sniff and proceed. And if you drink sour milk, there'll be a flavor problem--oh, yes indeed--but you don't need to have your stomach pumped. There's another word for curdled milk: cheese.

Warning food joke ahead!!


Sorry for eating the peanuts
A man visits his aunt in the nursing home. It turns out that she is taking a nap, so he just sits down in a chair in her room, flips through a few magazines, and munches on some peanuts sitting in a bowl on the table.

Eventually, the aunt wakes up, and her nephew realizes he's absentmindedly finished the entire bowl. "I'm so sorry, auntie, I've eaten all of your peanuts!"

"That's okay, dearie," the aunt replied. "After I've sucked the chocolate off, I don't care for them anyway."


heeheehee!!Ha..

I'm coming to you from my lil' sis's computer since mine is acting up at this moment. Sadly i won't be posting pictures for a little while.. i know that sucks. But we shall make do for now...don't worry my sense of humor is still at a rolling boil.

In other news I'm glad to hear that My Daddoo had an excellent Dads Day!! Happy Fathers Day to the most coolest Dad in the world!!!

The Fan of The World Of K-c’s have some questions on salad dressing. We would like to answer them.The inquiry comes the one the only…that’s right Aunt Broccolli!! One was how to make a low- fat ranch dressing. This is the best compromise between good taste and health. Because if it taste like crap your not going to enjoy it any way. And the other question is about how to make a dressing like Catalina healthier??? Try them out and let me know what you think!

Low-Fat Ranch Dressing

3/4 cup buttermilk (1%)
2 tablespoons low-fat mayonnaise
2 tablespoons nonfat sour cream
1 tablespoon finely chopped green onion or chives
2 teaspoons white vinegar
1 teaspoon of dill
1 garlic clove
1/2 teaspoon sugar
Salt and black pepper to taste

Throw it all in a food processor and it that simple.. if the herbs are fresh chop them by hand and add last so the dressing doesn’t turn green.

_raft Catalina Salad Dressing

1 cup sugar (replace with splenda)
2 Teaspoon salt
dash paprika
1/2 Teaspoon chili powder
1/2 Teaspoon celery seed
1/2 Teaspoon dry mustard
grated onion to taste
1/2 cup vinegar
2/3 cup ketchup
1 cup vegetable oil (replace with olive oil)
Place all ingredients into blender and mix. Store in jar in refrig
This dressing is not all that bad for your health as you can see above, I added a few suggestions to lower the calorie count. I don’t know if every on is familiar with spenda. It’s sweeter than sugar so use less than it calls for. Do it by taste. The taste buds never lie. So trust them!

What do you think about as the day goes flying bye at work???

Most days I don't even think about food. I think about when my next day off is, or even something I saw on tv the night before. It seems that many times as the day goes on, that the time flew by so fast that i didn't really think about amything at all!! it;s scary to think that i can run like a robot, a put together such lovily food at a snap of a finger. Today was different because i had potatoes on the brain. I keep thinking about them, i really wasn't hungary for them but they made me start to wonder? What have other people in other times thought about potatoes? So I had to find out!! I thought some of these tidbits were quite interesting and some amuseing,too!

The Incas used to use potatoes for healing:

- Raw slices placed on broken bones to promote healing.
- Carried to prevent rheumatism
- Eaten with other foods to prevent indigestion.

Various folk remedies use potatoes to:

- Treat facial blemishes by washing you face daily with cool potato juice.
- Treat frostbite or sunburn by applying raw grated potato or potato juice to the affected area.
- Help a toothache by carrying a potato in your pocket.
- Ease a sore throat by putting a slice of baked potato in a stocking and tying it around your throat.
- Ease aches and pains by rubbing the affected area with the water potatoes have been boiled in.

Some of the most famous potato dishes we enjoy today were created by mistake Collinet, chef for French King Louis Phillipe (reign 1830-1848) unintentionally created soufflés (or puffed) potatoes by plunging already fried potatoes into extremely hot oil to reheat them when the King arrived late for dinner one night. To the chef's surprise and the king's delight, the potatoes puffed up like little balloons.

In 1853 railroad magnate Commodore Cornelius Vanderbilt complained that his potatoes were cut too thick and sent them back to the kitchen at a fashionable resort in Saratoga Springs, NY. To spite his haughty guest, Chef George Crum sliced some potatoes paper thin, fried them in hot oil, salted and served them. To everyone's surprise, Vanderbilt loved his "Saratoga Crunch Chips," and potato chips have been popular ever since.

hmmm very interesting....

What do you think about as the day goes flying bye at work???

Most days I don't even think about food. I think about when my next day off is, or even something I saw on tv the night before. It seems that many times as the day goes on, that the time flew by so fast that i didn't really think about amything at all!! it;s scary to think that i can run like a robot, a put together such lovily food at a snap of a finger. Today was different because i had potatoes on the brain. I keep thinking about them, i really wasn't hungary for them but they made me start to wonder? What have other people in other times thought about potatoes? So I had to find out!! I thought some of these tidbits were quite interesting and some amuseing,too!

The Incas used to use potatoes for healing:

- Raw slices placed on broken bones to promote healing.
- Carried to prevent rheumatism
- Eaten with other foods to prevent indigestion.

Various folk remedies use potatoes to:

- Treat facial blemishes by washing you face daily with cool potato juice.
- Treat frostbite or sunburn by applying raw grated potato or potato juice to the affected area.
- Help a toothache by carrying a potato in your pocket.
- Ease a sore throat by putting a slice of baked potato in a stocking and tying it around your throat.
- Ease aches and pains by rubbing the affected area with the water potatoes have been boiled in.

Some of the most famous potato dishes we enjoy today were created by mistake Collinet, chef for French King Louis Phillipe (reign 1830-1848) unintentionally created soufflés (or puffed) potatoes by plunging already fried potatoes into extremely hot oil to reheat them when the King arrived late for dinner one night. To the chef's surprise and the king's delight, the potatoes puffed up like little balloons.

In 1853 railroad magnate Commodore Cornelius Vanderbilt complained that his potatoes were cut too thick and sent them back to the kitchen at a fashionable resort in Saratoga Springs, NY. To spite his haughty guest, Chef George Crum sliced some potatoes paper thin, fried them in hot oil, salted and served them. To everyone's surprise, Vanderbilt loved his "Saratoga Crunch Chips," and potato chips have been popular ever since.

hmmm very interesting....

Did you hear about this?

In January, University of Utah hospital surgeons removed half the skull of Briana Lane, age 22 and unemployed, in order to save her life after an auto accident, but because putting the skull back in place was not quite an emergency, it was delayed by negotiations over cost. The skull remained in a freezer for three months, with Lane battling serious pain (and wearing a plastic helmet for protection, feeling her brain "shifting" on her) while the hospital negotiated with the state Medicaid office, which pays only for long-term "disabilities." Her skull was finally reattached on April 30. [Salt Lake Tribune-AP, 5-11-04]


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I think that is pretty sad. But if you notice it was out in Utah, where all those crazy folks live. Sometimes when I am surfing the web and reading stuff like this i begin to relize how good I have it. On the other hand I must have to much time on my hands...to spend time looking for news like this. I really don't care about this kind of stuff, but for some sort of reson I get so sucked in by it. This is just another example of insurance being screwed up!!! I think i put in my 2 cents!!

Your Body's Efficiency
Have you ever wondered why, for so many people (and especially for anyone older than 30 years old), weight gain seems to be a fact of life? It's because the human body is way too efficient! It just does not take that much energy to maintain the human body at rest; and when exercising, the human body is amazingly frugal when it comes to turning food into motion.
At rest (for example, while sitting and watching television), the human body burns only about 12 calories per pound of body weight per day (26 calories per kilogram). That means that if you weigh 150 pounds (68 kg), your body uses only about:


150 X 12 = 1,800 calories per day
Twelve calories per pound per day is a rough estimate -- see How Calories Work for details.

Those 1,800 calories are used to do everything you need to stay alive:

They keep your heart beating and lungs breathing.
They keep your internal organs operating properly.
They keep your brain running.
They keep your body warm.
In motion, the human body also uses energy very efficiently. For example, a person running a marathon (26 miles or 42 km) burns only about 2,600 calories. In other words, you burn only about 100 calories per mile (about 62 calories per km) when you are running.
You can see just how efficient the human body is if you compare your body to a car. A typical car in the United States gets between 15 and 30 miles per gallon of gasoline (6 to 12 km/L). A gallon of gas contains about 31,000 calories. That means that if a human being could drink gasoline instead of eating hamburgers to take in calories, a human being could run 26 miles on about one-twelfth of a gallon of gas (0.3 L). In other words, a human being gets more than 300 miles per gallon (120 km/L)! If you put a human being on a bicycle to increase the efficiency, a human being can get well over 1,000 miles per gallon (more than 500 km/L)!

That level of efficiency is the main reason why it is so easy to gain weight.

Just an interesting thought! It may make you go hmmmm?

Lettuce eat.
greg k-c

HOW IT ALL BEGANPart 1
Cooking seems like such a simple art. It seems to me that if you cook, you must need fire. Fire was discovered by man probably millions of years ago by our archaeological ancestors. Of course
they did not cook with it, but probably worshipped it, felt it's warmth, it's pain, and gazed in wonder as it lit up the darkness of night. What an awesome discovery by the first man who
probably saw a tree burning after a lightning strike. How brave he must have been to get closer and investigate this strange phenomenon. The Gods surely must have played a part in this power. Many years of respect for that fire and sitting around it for warmth in the winter cold had passed before some clumsy cave man dropped his raw piece of meat into that fire. Before he could get it out of the fire and let it cool a bit to gnaw on again it was cooked. What did that taste like? Like
most foods, it could have been better tasting after falling in the fire, or his palate found the taste repulsive after being used to the taste of raw meat. If he found the taste to his liking, he probably told his friends about it, and they tried it. Being hunters and gatherers in those days and not
concerned with business as today, he did not secretly hide the fact that he had discovered cooking, and open a business called "burnt_meat.com". Instead he shared his discovery with
others by painting of his exploits on his living room wall. His attractors saw his paintings, and over eons of time, perfected his discovery.

Next to come is the evolution of cooking!!!
I hope you enjoy it i been working on this one for quite some time now. I even spell checked it.Sarah what do you think??

Did you hear about this perv??
Underwear Bandit NabbedMan suspected of long string of women's panties thefts is caught.

(Mayfield Heights-AP) -- Police in Mayfield Heights say they have arrested a man suspected of stealing women's underwear from apartments.

For years someone has been breaking into apartment buildings in the Cleveland area and swiping underwear, most often panties.

Police say Remigio Abello III, 46, of Twinsburg was arrested Tuesday night after a couple saw him come out of an apartment with a laundry basket. The apartment building residents knew he did not live there and they apprehended him. He was charged yesterday with one count of second-degree burglary. Police say he could face additional charges. He was being held in Mayfield Heights City Jail.

Abello's lawyer is Larry Zukerman. He says Abello has no criminal history and is law-abiding.

On Wednesday police searched Abello's Twinsburg home, which he shares with his wife. The search turned up women's briefs, T-shirts and sweatshirts, all packed in bags in a crawl space. Police also found photographs of women that had been stolen during several recent burglaries.


What can I say but there's a lot of sicko's out there!

Here's a picture of us on the way back from Liberty Island. Back row Greg(hubby), and Roy(bro-in-law). On the bottom row, Me(Laura), Paul( Pa-in-law), and Linda(maw-in-law) 

The Statue Of liberty on the way back from our boat ride 

We're Back from the Big Apple! You know where we are!  

We are Back to Jax after an exciting weekend in N.Y. We had a great time, and we can't wait to go back! We saw Radio City, Rockefeller center, statue of liberty, St. Patricks, Carnegie Hall, The empire state building, The Met. Museum of art and lots of other stuff. We rode the subway which was very cheap and quick transportation. I still wonder if Manhattan has a speed limit, and why they have lines painted on the roads? After being home today everything seemed slow paced. I noticed by the end of the weekend We were walking and talking faster. We didn't want to go to bed because there's always something to do..The excitement just sucked us right in. Not only that but the food was excellent. We experienced itatlian, French, Thai, and good new York deli's. I say the cheese cake was so great, yummmm!!! There's just so much there, I think we will definitely go there again and again!!

ooooo.aaahhh! Look at the happy couple. The pastry crew a work did a wonderful job doing the cake!!! 

Congrats!! To Some Friends of mine...Mr. and Mrs. Dave and Tiffany Cooksey! There first Dance Sat. May 22nd!!! 

So many options!!! Lettuce ...like people in many ways..they come in all types of shapes and sizes. 

I hope everybody enjoyed salad mania. I'm going to bring that topic to a close for now. The next on my agenda is apple's. Thats right the K-C's are going to make a trip to new York this weekend. We will return on Monday so i will fill you in on all the fun and frolicing in the Big city!!! Signing off tell Mon. We hope everyone has a lovely holiday weekend. And for all of those hard working folks that don't get to relax..we will be thinking of you!

Dressings Anyone?
By request I've written down a few recipes, i hope you enjoy..before you know it you be a wiz..trust me the blender is a great friend...you will see..don;t be scared to let your imagination go wild!!

Raspberry Vinaigrette

Serving Size : 10 American
Amount Measure Ingredient -- Preparation Method
-------- ------------ --------------------------------
1/2 cup Vegetable Oil
3 tablespoons Raspberry Vinegar (Reese's)
3 tablespoons Granulated Sugar (3 Equal Pkgs)
1 1/2 Tbsp Fresh parsley -- Finely Minced
1 teaspoon (Heaping) Minced Shallots
1/4 teaspoon Salt
1/8 teaspoon Dry Mustard
Fresh Ground Pepper To Taste

Combine all ingredients in order listed in shaker jar. Cover and shake to
combine well. Or place ingredients in 2-cup glass measure and whisk to
combine. Refrigerate until ready to use. (Shake or whisk to combine before
using.) Makes about 1 cup

Title: CITRUS VINAIGRETTE DRESSING

Juice of 1 orange
(preferably a large Spanish
Navel orange)
2 tb Lemon juice
2 tb Balsamic or white wine
Vinegar
1 Clove garlic, crushed
pn Salt
1/4 ts Dry mustard powder
Freshly-ground black pepper
1 ts Brown sugar.

Put everything in a screw-top jar and shake
thoroughly. Will keep for a couple of days in the
refrigerator.

Diablo Yogurt Salad Dressing


Amount Measure Ingredient -- Preparation Method
-------- ------------ --------------------------------
1/2 cup plain lowfat yogurt -- (four-ounces)
1 1/2 teaspoons prepared mustard -- see variation
1 teaspoon lemon juice
1/2 teaspoon minced garlic
salt and pepper -- to taste

Gently mix the ingredients and store in refrigerator, covered, for about 3
days. Makes 1/2 cup or 8 tablespoons. Good with potato, rice, kashi, and
bulgur-romaine salads.

GREEK BASIL DRESSING
Yield: 1 batch

1 Garlic clove; minced
1 Shallot or scallion
-- cut into thirds
6 Greek olives; pitted
1 ts Dijon mustard
1 tb Balsamic vinegar
1/4 ts Grated lemon zest
1 tb Fresh lemon juice
1 sm Tomato; quartered
1/4 ts Freshly ground pepper
3 tb Chopped fresh basil
1/4 c Olive oil
Salt and pepper; to taste

In a blender or food processor, blend all ingredients
except olive oil. Add olive oil gradually, processing
until combined. Add salt and pepper to taste.

Yield: Makes 2/3 cup.


I hope these are helpful..tomarrow we will be wrapping up salad mania...questions always welcome.

Citrus Salad over Baby Mixed Greens 

FYI:
The weekly Nutrition tip is heading to a computer near you!!!
Were not sure what day it will be, but the Mr. K-C's looking forward to it. So keep an eye out for it.

Salad Savvy


Just because it's called a "salad" doesn't mean it's good for you. Sure, you can create a healthy meal on your way through the salad bar. But you can also create a nutritional nightmare if you're not careful.

The basic standbys at any salad bar -- lettuce, spinach, tomatoes, carrots, cucumbers, cabbage, broccoli, cauliflower -- are loaded with vitamins, minerals, phytochemicals (literally "plant chemicals") and fiber. But beware the hidden nutritional traps lurking among these goodies.

Take salad dressings. It's not just that they're high in fat, it's also the type of fat in them. All fats pack 9 calories per gram, twice as much as carbohydrates or protein. If weight loss is your goal, be sure to choose reduced fat and calorie dressings. If you prefer the "real" thing, try vinaigrettes made with olive or canola oil. These oils are high in monounsaturated fats. Unlike saturated fats, they can actually help lower blood cholesterol levels.

Another trap: the creamy desserts and side salads that are mainstays of many salad bars. For the unsuspecting, a trip through the salad bar can easily add up to 1,000 calories and be loaded with fat.

If you avoid these traps, salads are a great way to take advantage of the disease-fighting properties of fiber, vitamins, phytochemicals and healthy fats. And salads are a great way to get your five daily servings of fruits and vegetables.

What's the big deal with fruits and vegetables? Study after study shows that they protect against both heart disease and cancer. And it has to be the real thing. Supplements of isolated nutrients often fail to produce the same positive results.

How do they work? Well, vegetables are one of the best sources of fiber. Fiber helps reduce blood cholesterol levels, cutting heart disease risk. It also may help prevent cancer. In the intestines, fiber keeps foods, including potential carcinogens, moving through the system, and ultimately out of it. A half cup of beans, broccoli, peas or corn provides over 2 grams of fiber, a good start on the 25 to 30 grams recommended daily.

Dark green, yellow and red vegetables -- spinach, red and yellow peppers, tomatoes -- are rich in vitamin A precursors known as carotenoids. These, too, may protect against heart disease and cancer. Studies have linked the beta-carotene in foods to cancer and heart disease prevention. Supplements of concentrated beta-carotene do not show the same benefit. This is one more reason to rely on foods, not pills, for your vitamins.

To take advantage of vitamin C's antioxidant properties, choose tomatoes, peppers, broccoli, avocado and cabbage. Broccoli, cauliflower and cabbage all belong to a family of plants known as cruciferous vegetables. Packed in there with fiber and vitamins are important phytochemicals. Though it's too soon to make a direct cause and effect connection, there's plenty of evidence to suggest that eating cruciferous vegetables is an important part of a cancer-protective diet.

So the next time you browse your favorite salad bar, use your salad savvy to avoid those hidden traps, get your "five-a-day," and protect your health in the process.

Lettuce Eat!!

Salad Mania Continues!! 

Salad humor:How do you repair a broken tomato?
Tomato Paste!

Why did the boy close the refrigerator door?
He didn't want to see the salad dressing!

A faucet, lettuce and a tomato were in a race...what happened?
The faucet was running, the lettuce was ahead, and the tomato was trying to ketchup!


Q. What is the most romantic fruit salad?
A. A date with a peach.

I can't help myself sometimes!!!he hee

Salad Mania has Offically Started!! 

Saffron Poache Pear with Candied Walnuts and Goat Cheese 


Now the K-C's world in color...coming to a computer near you. So to start us off today we are going to talk about salads and there dressings. Yummy!!! So we all know what a salad is right?
sal·ad n.

A dish of raw leafy green vegetables, often tossed with pieces of other raw or cooked vegetables, fruit, cheese, or other ingredients and served with a dressing.
The course of a meal consisting of this dish.
A cold dish of chopped vegetables, fruit, meat, fish, eggs, or other food, usually prepared with a dressing, such as mayonnaise.
A green vegetable or herb used in salad, especially lettuce.

Dressing Anyone!
Fresh Basil and Balsamic
Low-Fat Salad Dressing
This recipe makes enough dressing for a week's worth of salads for a family of 4. You will need a 1 quart jar with a tight-fitting lid.

Ingredients

1/2 medium onion
2 med cloves of garlic
1/4 cup fresh basil leaves (tightly packed)
2 tsp dry basil(fresh is much better)
3/4 cup balsamic vinegar
1/2 cup water
1/4 cup coarse prepared mustard (dry mustard or even a nice dijon will do)
1/2 cup extra virgin olive oil
Peel the onion and garlic cloves then mince together with the fresh basil leaves. Put in jar and add the remaining ingredients.( or of you have a blender chop onion into large dice..and the garlic can go in the blender whole) Shake up and season as needed with salt and pepper.When storing in the fridge the oil will solidify so pull out well before the time your going to eat) Each night you simply shake it up and pour over a salad.
Makes about 2 cups and keeps for a week in the refrigerator.

This is the true Italian dressing. It's so basic, it's scary. But trust me, when made with good-tasting vinegar and oil this is a star.

Get a pint jar (2 cups) with a screw top. You're making this by taste, not by exact measurement so the quantities are approximations.


1/2 cup good tasting vinegar (ie a blend of rice vinegar and balsamic, or cider, wine or sherry vinegar)Plus a fresh lemon juice if you have it a couple teaspoons

1/2 cup good tasting extra-virgin olive oil

salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste

Combine in the jar, shake, taste and then add more oil or vinegar to balance. Store in the refrigerator up to 1 week. Use at room temperature, shaking to blend.

Remember a little goes a long way, so always start with a couple of tablespoons.


Well this a start to salad mainia ...which was all sparked by the famous and soon to retiring Aunt Broccolli.

Top Ten Signs You May Be Eating In A Bad Restaurant

10. As you leave commenting on the Mint Flavored Tooth Picks...they say... "Flavored? OH!!! The person before you had the key lime pie for desert.. Sir.. You can't take that from the restaurant..."
9. Bathrooms are marked "Stander-uppers" and "Sitter-downers". (g

8. Proudly display their vast, historic collection of stomach pumps.

7. No rats anywhere near the garbage cans.

6. After a complaint about being given a dirty fork, your waitress licks it and dries it on your tie.

5. When they're going into the Playland Area, you tell the kids to be careful to step over the yellow police tape.

4. When you order the "special," you hear the entire kitchen staff burst out laughing, and then their dogs start barking.

3. The waiter knows the exact amount of rat feces the law allows in your food.

2. Waiver of liability form inserted in the menu.

1. All the good parking spaces are marked "Ambulance Parking Only".


That's right folks...you don't want to hear any of the above. In fact if by chance you do i would run...not walk out the door!!

Next on the up coming agenda salad dressing world that's right time for Q and A and some yummy recipes. So get your pen and pad out..oh who am i kidding..turn on the good ole' printer.

On a side note did anyone see the last episode of Fraiser...it was a good one!!!i will miss that show:^(

What the ^@*$^ is Tapioca? We all know about Tapioca pudding. It was the sweet tasting desset from our youth with those mysterious looking bubbles. Seems like everyone has a fond memory of Tapioca, but at the same time, has absolutely no clue what it is made from. Most are fooled by the appearance, surmising that it is too symmetrical to be from anything natural. Wanna bet?
Tapioca comes from the cassava root (also known as yuca, manioc, mandioca), which is a staple in Africa and South America. Like most roots it has a tough brown skin with a white interior flesh. Cassava roots can be bitter or sweet and should be cooked before eating as they contain the poisonous chemical hydrocyanic acid. They are an important source of carbohydrate calories in tropical regions throughout the earth.

Tapioca comes from the starch extracted from the cassava root. It is sold both as a flour or as pearls. The pearls are what gives it the bubble look. Those bubbles can burst as they absorb water, resulting in a slimy texture. To avoid getting slimed, use refined or processed tapioca.

Now the next time someone asks "What the ^@#*$ is Tapioca?", you will impress their socks off.


thigs that make U go hummm!!1

Happy Anniversary to US!!!

That's right today the 12th is the K-C's 3rd Wedding Anniversary!!We send our many thanks out to all the loveily gifts we recieved.
Mum and Pop next time your up you'll have to join us for afternoon tea. now that we have a lovely tea pot and a tea kettle. We try to switch out soda and other sweet beverages with tea...a lot less calories and it's tasty hot or cold. And Maw and Pa C. we saw a lovely movie on ya'll. We saw The Laws of Attraction. You all should see it, you couples out there would really enjoy it...And you guys out there you will like it too...it's not sappy or to girlie. It's witty, funny, and sweet. Check it out. A shout out to Mr. and Mrs. V. we played the game. karen was a little worried because joe often wins.. But the Mrs. K-C was the big winner. Go Me!! K and J thank's for the stick blender. The smoothie are delish!!

We hope every one's day is going well. Fell Free to stop in for a spot of tea.

Happy Anniversary to US!!!

That's right today the 12th is the K-C's 3rd Wedding Anniversary!!We send our many thanks out to all the loveily gifts we recieved.
Mum and Pop next time your up you'll have to join us for afternoon tea. now that we have a lovely tea pot and a tea kettle. We try to switch out soda and other sweet beverages with tea...a lot less calories and it's tasty hot or cold. And Maw and Pa C. we saw a lovely movie on ya'll. We saw The Laws of Attraction. You all should see it, you couples out there would really enjoy it...And you guys out there you will like it too...it's not sappy or to girlie. It's witty, funny, and sweet. Check it out. A shout out to Mr. and Mrs. V. we played the game. karen was a little worried because joe often wins.. But the Mrs. K-C was the big winner. Go Me!! K and J thank's for the stick blender. The smoothie are delish!!

We hope every one's day is going well. Fell Free to stop in for a spot of tea.

Happy Mothers Day!!!

Long time no see...Sorry our computer had the case of the grumpies recently..I think it's all back in order. I would like to give a shout out to all the mom's out there...Thats Mommoo K. , and also Maw C. i hope you have a great day. Here's a little something for you!!!
Things My Mother Taught Me

My Mother taught me LOGIC..."If you fall off that swing and break your neck, you can't go to the store with me."

My Mother taught me MEDICINE..."If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they're going to freeze that way."

My Mother taught me TO THINK AHEAD..."If you don't pass your spelling test, you'll never get a good job!"

My Mother taught me ESP..."Put your sweater on; don't you think that I know when you're cold?"

My Mother taught me TO MEET A CHALLENGE..."What were you thinking? Answer me when I talk to you...Don't talk back to me!"

My Mother taught me HUMOR..."When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

My Mother taught me how to BECOME AN ADULT..."If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up.

My mother taught me about GENETICS..."You are just like your father!"

My mother taught me about my ROOTS..."Do you think you were born in a barn?"

My mother taught me about the WISDOM of AGE..."When you get to be my age, you will understand."

My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION..."Just wait until your father gets home."

My mother taught me about RECEIVING..."You are going to get it when we get home."

And, my all-time favorite - JUSTICE..."One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like YOU -- then you'll see what it's like."

I found this on some web site..author unknown.. i thought i was very nice and cute too..
i would love the chat more with you folks but i am up way past my bed time.. and must be to work early for our mothers day celebration!!

i will be back to our regular schedule blogging as long as everything goes well...